Using Your Values as a Compass & Living a Values-Based Life

“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values—and follow my own moral compass—then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own. “ ~ Michelle Obama

Being conscious of and living by our personal core values leads to more fulfillment, happiness, and improves our overall well-being. Once you become consciously aware of your core values, you can use them as a compass to help guide you in the direction you wish to go or to keep you on course. If we’re feeling lost, unbalanced, overwhelmed, guilty, or resentful, it’s most likely because something is missing in our lives—or, to put it another way, one (or some) of our core values isn’t being honored.

Values are our principles or standards of behavior; one's judgement of what is important in life. (ref: Oxford Dictionary). Some examples are loyalty, excellence, contribution, honor, growth, or discipline. Click here to receive a more comprehensive list of values I've been curating - always a work in progress.

Values are subjective and are neither good nor bad (though some people may behave badly to satisfy their values). There is no standard list or universal definition for values, a definition of a particular value can vary from person to person. Values are formed from our life experiences, they begin in our upbringing at home and are further shaped by our teachers, friends, and our culture. They stem from our needs and beliefs, and the importance and meaning of our values can change according to context—work, family, relationships. Though some of our values may change over time due to internal or external life events, our core values tend to remain constant.

In my coaching practice, I begin all engagements with a values clarification exercise for my clients and, in the end, they have a list of about 8 "core" values. I say "core" because we have many can have many values, but only a few truly guide our actions. Again, values act as our compass when determining options and deciding which path to take. How should they approach their goal? What actions can be taken that are in accordance with their values? There are many paths that can be taken to reach a destination, and the client’s values act as their True North, making sure we stay on their path— not succumbing to peer pressure, or doing what is expected of them, or how they think others want them to behave. When faced with a difficult decision, a values-based decision-making matrix is helpful, giving the client an opportunity analyze how much each of their values will be honored for each option, leading to a more fulfilling decision and one that feels sustainable. I've recently started using the Wheel of Life as a template in addition to the table/matrix format, for a more visual representation.

When we have clarified our core values and are conscious of how they impact our decisions and daily lives, we can be more mindful of living our values “out loud.” What can you do to honor your values in your daily life? What small acts can you implement? For instance, if one of your core values is kindness, you can decide to be friendlier to people you pass on the street, exchanging a smile or saying hello, or some other small act to brighten up their day. If you value generosity, you can pay for someone's coffee, give your time to a local nonprofit, or donate blood. Something like this may seem insignificant but remember that a waterfall begins with a single drop of water, and the more you consciously live out loud, in accordance with your values, the more happiness will follow you, like your shadow.